I Know How He Feels

Many Halloweens ago, I remember getting home from a long night of candy hunting, arms tired from my bulky pillowcase, and seeing my father waiting for us (my brother and sister too). He looked really excited about something. I always joked that in the film of my life Harvey Keitel would play the part of my father - in both looks and demeanor. So seeing him excited was strange. Then I saw them. Gifts! Small packages! Wrapped in the washed-out colors of the Sunday comic strips. Newspaper wrapping paper was pretty impressive from a guy that never even knew what Christmas presents we were opening (even the ones that said "From: Dad"). He had three gifts: one for me, one for my brother, and one for my sister. He handed us our presents and I remember the weight and feel of mine giving it away - I was about to open a very cool and heavy train locomotive. I was already thinking my brother and sister would be opening some other cars from the same train set. Super excited, I tore the wrapping away from the train and found a rectangular rock. I remember looking over and seeing my brother and sister holding their rocks. Then I remember my old man laughing.

Every Halloween when I set up the fog machine outside their house, I always grab rocks from under the tree to level the fogger and support it on the slope of their lawn. The same rocks we opened all those years ago. I can almost picture him digging through the ivy that night a few decades ago laughing out loud as he found three gift-sized stones to give to his children.