Tuesday, February 22, 2022
Monday, February 21, 2022
Abduction
"I was probably about 5 years old or so ... and a bright blue light would come in to the room and the door would open, and there would be like, a foggy kind of misty blue light, just shining through the whole house," Audrey said. "And these two figures would come in..."
Mother: A Photo Shoot
It is essential that the forensic pathologist or medicolegal death investigator recognize and appreciate the uniqueness of immersed and submerged remains. The typical decomposition changes proceed more slowly in the water, primarily due to cooler temperatures and the anaerobic environment. However, once a body is removed from the water, putrefaction will likely be accelerated.
Cooger & Dark's Pandemonium Shadow Show
But you take October, now. School's been on a month and you're riding easier in the reins, jogging along. You got time to think of the garbage you'll dump on old man Prickett's porch, or the hairy-ape costume you'll wear to the YMCA the last night of the month. And if it's around October twentieth and everything smoky-smelling and the sky orange and ash gray at twilight, it seems Halloween will never come in a fall of broomsticks and a soft flap of bedsheets around corners.
But one strange wild dark long year, Halloween came early.
Ray Bradbury - SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES
Sunday, February 20, 2022
Saturday, February 19, 2022
Now Playing: My Little Brown Book
Some Saturday evening music, by Duke Ellington and John Coltrane. Sure, it's not Halloween-related, but if you close your eyes, you might just picture a rainy day in Autumn (that's what I always imagine).
Click below...
Netflix's Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Anyone else watch this stinker? What I thought would be fun and forgettable turned out to be horrid and plain old DUMB. Like duuuuuuuuumb. Like shockingly bad. And not even remotely in a good way. Like waking up and realizing you had a dream about Leatherface that made no sense at all. Because you ate some greasy rich food the night before.
And worse: you craved, and I mean CRAVED, the main stars dying horrible deaths. And that doesn't mean I was rooting for Leatherface either. Because I wasn't. He was equally as annoying as the young actors were. And then there was Sally Hardesty. Who turned out to be just more to hate.
Everything was wrong. Literally everything. Well, maybe not the score (that was pretty cool).
There was a part, and I'm not spoiling anything, where the aged Leatherface smashes his chainsaw out from behind a wall, where it was hidden for like fifty years, and it starts right up. Now, as a man who owns a lawnmower and dreads that first pull of the cord every spring due to it choking and stalling out, I found this idea to be lunacy. But that right there is nitpicking, and you don't need to nitpick this film to realize it was dreadful.
The kills and gore were just "odd" too. The "mask" was bizarre and magically stayed on his face (if you watched it, you'll know what I mean).
I've been reading reviews and comments and I'm not seeing the hate I was expecting. Horror fans are cutting this thing some major slack. I hate to bring it up again, but I'm thinking of my blog post about the recent, and wonderful, Candyman film, and all the seething toxic hatred that film garnered. The notion that ANY horror fan is giving Netflix's Texas Chainsaw Massacre ANY kind of break but piled on Candyman is proof of SOMETHING. I'm just trying to figure out what that something is.
Here's to the original!
Friday, February 18, 2022
A Carny Tried To Kill Us
And we loved it.
We would go unchaperoned, of course. We'd win small stuffed animals that smelled like dust. Or wood-framed mirrors that said Jack Daniels or Twisted Sister. And one time you could even win a small bowl with a real goldfish in there (imagine that horrible fate... being a carnival fish).
Well, I can think of a worse fate. The Carny.
Where do they come from? Who were they? Do they travel with the carnival? Are they hired as part time employment when the carnival is scheduled to arrive? I do know this: they were scary. And they unnerved us. Silent and tired, smelling of tobacco and grease. They were like something you'd read about in a Ray Bradbury story where they'd just appear from a summer storm. Like those rare ones when you can smell the hot concrete being cooled by large heavy drops of rain.
Or they were just people down on their luck in need of work. Or they were happy and enjoyed the freedom of moving from one location to another, providing thrills and joy. But the only problem there is that they never EVER appeared to be happy. In fact, it was always the contrary. They seemed to be a million miles away, while operating a machine that could literally kill you. They seemed to be miserable. And worse: Resentful of our presence.
One particular evening, late into the night, we boarded the Round Up (the ride at the top of this blog post). Pretty standard by way of carnival rides. The carny at the controls angrily gave us instructions as we boarded the ride: "When the ride ends, DON'T exit until it comes to a complete stop." He seemed really mad about this.
The ride spun us. It rose and fell, like a hubcap spinning on the ground. We laughed and shouted and marveled at our bodies being squished by centrifugal force. And then the carny ended the ride and the Round Up began slowing. It leveled off as it spun slower and slower. Just as it was about to stop spinning, we all exited our weird cubbies along the circular wall of the thing. We undid the cheap chains at waist level that would have provided zero support in the event of an accident.
If you recall, this was in complete violation of the carny's pre-ride instructions. And he became furious, but in his cold carny way. So, he simply turned the ride back on. Imagine being a child and realizing you were in the middle of a ride that was about to accelerate to a point of pressing you to death. I can't stress the extreme fear we had as we ran to the walls which were now a blur as this metal horror started to rise again on one side. We were all terrified. And the carny knew it. He was smiling with his unsmiling mouth; I was certain of it.
But then something more terrifying happened. He spun us for an exceptionally long period of time. I recall believing I would die on that thing. That actually isn't an embellishment in the least. He kept it at top speed until we were all lifeless and crushed, and on the verge of tears and panic. He tried to kill us.
So it finally comes to a rest and this nightmare of a man has won his battle with a bunch of ten-year-old kids. We waited to exit. Waited until that thing was frozen still. I wish I did one of those splits where you crotch-punch someone as I exited the ride past the carny, but I'm certain they would have found me the next morning in the local creek. Face down.
Here's pretty much what the carny looked like:
More Johanna Parker Design
One of my favorite artists. I love how she can design for every holiday and season, something I am woefully incapable of doing.
Thursday, February 17, 2022
The Ritual: Moder
Was thinking about this neat film and cool creature recently and decided to look it up. It's a beautiful monster for sure. Look at that spine.
Click below for a short video...
Wednesday, February 16, 2022
Tuesday, February 15, 2022
Haunter Burns In House Fire
Kidding. They're fiiiiiine.
I always hated news stories featuring Home Haunts as the displays are almost always flooded with bright white light (like how my mother used to ruin my early Haunt photos) and the Haunter is usually asked to do something "spooky" on camera and they probably regret agreeing to that for the rest of their lives.
My mother often would threaten she would call the local news to come and feature the Halloween display when I haunted their house with my props. This would always end with me warning her I would storm away upon first seeing a news van. Kicking and pushing things over as I fled, like Christ in the Temple. This Diva always won out. Though years later she confessed she had called a few times, and the people weren't interested. I still consider this a win.
Fortunately, the below segment is none of those things I mentioned above, and the fire effect looks amazing.
Click below...
Monday, February 14, 2022
Artifact Pottery
It's been a while since I featured this cool shop (though currently there are no items for sale on their Etsy store). But it's great eye candy.
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