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By My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult.

Michael Myers Vs The Crow

On a Halloween night, many years ago, my sister did as she always did on that special night - she invited her loud friends as though I was throwing a Halloween party, as though she got an invitation from me that said "tell all your friends!" So they showed up throughout the night as they always do. To clog the pathway to the porch so small children would have to push through or walk around them. One of my sister's friends came in costume, as Eric Draven from The Crow. Or, rather, his interpretation of it. He was somewhat short and not exactly thin like Brandon Lee, but he did his best. He had the face paint on and wore black and wrapped his entire mid-section with black electrical tape. Tons of it. I'd say he used up ten rolls of the shiny soft tape.

So there I am, dressed as Michael Myers and I'm thinking at least one of her friends got into the spirit of Halloween... then he slowly walked up and squatted behind the large tree on my parents' lawn. I didn't have time to even process what was going on when he jumped out at the next small child that came up for candy. He made a "BLUUAHHHH!!!!!!" sound and got in the poor kid's face.

I think I was going into shock. As a haunter that savors atmosphere and non-jumpy scares, I now had a co-haunter literally jumping at trick-or-treaters like a trapdoor spider dressed as an interpretation of The Crow. And I could tell he was loving it, and I'm sure he thought he was doing me a favor. But I couldn't take it any more. And I'm not really proud of it.

Michael Myers slowly rose and approached The Crow. He placed one hand on his shoulder and a quiet voice came out of his emotionless latex face, "Look...I'm really REALLY sorry, man...and I appreciate your help, I really do, but Michael Myers is kinda like a one-man show...you know what I mean?" The guy looked totally devastated. Crushed. He said "ok" and slowly turned to walk away. And there was my father coming up the walk. He looked at all that electrical tape and yelled "What the Hell are YOU supposed to be? A short-circuit?!"

Myers: Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.