Monster Cereal Memoriam

It's time for a harsh truth - the Monster Cereals are dead.  Or rather (and kinder), they aren't what they used to be.  They haven't been for quite some time (apparently, I've gone on about this before).  I was surprised to see that they first hit the market in 1971, back in the time of edible poison dyes.  I grew up knowing these cereals, especially Boo Berry, which seemed to be the one my mother would bring home most often from the grocery store.  It was dark and dense and extremely flavorful.  Who cared if it had indigestible pigments?  Not me.

Well, they went away, and then came back.  And each Halloween season they reappear with great fanfare.  Yet no one is really commenting on the fact that they are toothless versions of their 70's selves.  The cereal is lighter in color and texture...the flavor is weak and a bit unusual.  Essentially, it's not what I remember.  And being an adult ten-year-old boy, well, that matters (probably just to me).  

So, in the year 2024, General Mills released a new Lucky Charms cereal called Berry Swirl Lucky Charms.  General Mills is the same company responsible for the Monster Cereals.  Not realizing this fact and being blinded by the most colors I've ever seen on a box of cereal, I bought them.  Gleefully.

Now get this - they're so reminiscent of the texture and flavor of those old fruity Monster Cereals that I almost checked the box to make sure it didn't say Frute Brute.  If you're into toxic-bright cereals and you occasionally find yourself missing the Monster Cereals, these might be for you.  

Who knows... maybe it's the Dawn of the Renaissance of Cereal... I'm guessing it's not.  So, in the meantime I'll make sure I buy another box of this stuff.

I'm not proud of this photo.

It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Cereal)

Halloween cereal abounds (or is starting to)...

Monster Cereal Newbie: Carmella Creeper

For the first time, Monsters Cereals are adding Carmella Creeper. A zombie DJ, she is the cousin of Franken Berry. Bringing the beat to the after-life party, Carmella Creeper should add some flair to that Monster Bash. Whether the groove is upbeat or mellow, she will get everyone moving.

I highly doubt she'll get me on the dance floor, but I'm looking way too forward to this cereal (and the Monster Mash Remix).

Click below...

Fruity

Courtesy of the Brute.

Hocus Pocus Halloween Pancake Cereal

I'm certain that a giant bowl of these sans the fruit would make me extremely happy for approximately four days.  Oh, how I wish you could just buy a box of them.  

I found myself spending way too much time tonight trying to mentally design the perfect Halloween Cereal (which led me to find these glorious-looking things).

My cereal would be orange and black spheres (shiny, not the dusty kind).  Purple and green marshmallows for sure in there.  And the milk would turn orange.  

I'd want the cereal to taste fruity, like a combination of Trix and Fruity Pebbles.  And it wouldn't hurt for an occasional Pop Rock-like object to make the milk crackle and fizz in spots.

I can already imagine the product recall and dumpsters filled with my new cereal.  Which we'll call 

H A L L O W E E N' s.

Click below for the recipe...

Reese's Puffs BATS

Great Halloween packaging and terrific flavor.  Each peanutty or chocolatey bat has a nice crispy coating to keep it from getting mushy in milk.  Eating them in a bat bowl really helps.

Dope Review: Halloween Fruity Pebbles

From He's Crafty...

The Spice

Real pumpkin puree, cinnamon, and cloves contribute to the spot-on taste that every pumpkin-spice fan is guaranteed to appreciate. 

Now Eating: Mini Trix

"More fruity pieces in every bite!"

The Cereal gods are pretty cool.

Image source.

The Season...

We found a box of these over the weekend, and they're really nice.... not sickly sweet or overboard on the pumpkin spice.

Summer Berry

Rice, Sugar, Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (Coconut And Palm Kernel Oils), Salt, Contains Less Than 0.5% Of Natural And Artificial Flavor, Red 40, Strawberry Juice Concentrate, Blueberry Juice Concentrate, Blue 1, Yellow 6, Raspberry Juice Concentrate, Summer Berry Juice [fresh squeezed].

For anyone who longs for toxic fruitiness from their cereal (with bright and unnatural colors), Post Foods has a limited edition called Summer Berry Pebbles.  It brought me back to all the things I loved about fruity cereals from my childhood, like BooBerry and Frankenberry (not the modern versions of those Monster Cereals).

Unnaturally sweet and super bright, and 100% All-American (Red 40, White, and Blue 1).

Enlarged to Show Texture

A Bowl Of Frute

Local supermarket had those two creature comebacks...Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy.  Purchased both, but only tried Frute Brute.
Sometimes the quest is way more important than the treasure.  But only when the treasure is pink cereal and not treasure.

Eh.  It's ok.  All of the monster cereals are shiny, and different than in their early years.  And this stuff looks toxic, and doesn't have the toxic fruit flavor I was expecting (and wanting).

Found some Halloween It'll-Turn-Your-Milk-Green Captain Crunch, so it wasn't a total loss. 

I'm officially a child.


Growing up, we had a sticker in the basement of my parents' house...of the Frute Brute (spelled Fruit Brute back then).   None of us remember putting it there, and none of us could remember actually eating Frute Brute back then.  And my parents were the first occupants of the house, so it was strange indeed that a sticker had been stuck in a monster cereal's honor.

And it's still there.  Tonight, my mother called and said blood tears were dripping from it.  At the precise moment that I shouted "This cereal tastes like piss!"

That last bit was a lie.


Here's a shot of the 2013 Frute Brute cereal.  Which I swear has given me dry-mouth.


Enlarged to show texture:

Return Of The Creature(s)

I'm way too excited about this news:  General Mills is bringing back two monster cereals from the past - Yummy Mummy and Fruit Brute, for the Halloween season.

I shall indulge in these fruity cereals.

Click here for more information.

Plastic Chip Pumpkin

Saw this photo and it brought back a ton of memories of the first Halloween decoration I can truly remember. Back in the 70's, Captain Crunch cereal had an offer on the back of the box to mail in some proof of purchase and some dough and you'd get a cool plastic pumpkin decoration made from tiny plastic chips that look like bent holes from a hole-puncher. I remember the day it arrived and how excited I was. Running my fingers over the plastic lumpy face. My parents still have it at their house and use it every year.


Image source.

Halloween Crunch

Another cereal I never knew existed.
I'm watching the shelves like a hawk this year.


More at this super cool site:
BrandedInThe80s.com

Apple Jack O'Lanterns

How on EARTH did I ever miss this cereal back in 2003???

from this blog.