Monday, November 24, 2008

Door Decorating Contest

So every year there's a door decorating contest for the Christmas season at my office. The first year I worked here, my coworkers somehow convinced me to partake. They had heard from someone that I liked to make things for Halloween out of papier mache so they came up with an idea to have an angel on our department's door with some other silly non-Halloween stuff. I tried to tell them that I don't do Christmas. That I couldn't promise a good end-result since I'm sure it would have been flavored with darkness and not the happy angel that they were picturing in their heads. But I agreed to do it, probably because I didn't know them as well as I know them now and I thought it would have somehow affected my career path here. I made their stupid angel. Mache face....glue-dipped white fabric...a barely visible face beneath the angelic cloak. Feathers on two giant wings made from white tissue paper. I still remember the silence when I unveiled it. Confusion. Forced appreciation. I remember saying "I TOLD you all, dammit."

Regardless, we took first place that year, which was cool. The angel was taken home by my manager who reported that her son hung it in his room. Last year a coworker asked my manager if she could use it as a Christmas decoration on her porch. My manager stole it from her son and gave it to her. My coworker hung it on her screened-in porch with a light shining down on it. In her words "A neighbor told me it was scaring her kids."

The angel is back with my manager's son.

This year they approached me and asked me to do a Nightmare Before Christmas door for the contest.

I said no.

Sincerely,
The Office Jerk



(pretty much what every door ends up looking like.)

7 comments:

Andrea said...

Oh Gah... that door is lame. You have to look at those for a month!? That would make anyone not want to 'do Christmas'. I know you don't know me from a rock in your yard, but YOU could do something cool. It's the calling of your craft! Nightmare BC vintage or not, it would be so much better than, (ugh- fist to the mouth) that door....
I know, make a cool looking old door like Albert Finney's "Scrooge"- A big stone gargoyle knocker with a lone Santa hat. :) It's classic!

The Captain said...

You had me laughing! Do you have a picture of the angel that was scaring the neighborhood children?

Rot said...

andrea, the scrooge idea is actually really cool. i'd be tempted to work the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come into it. : ) and an overgrown tombstone.


no photos exist of the horrible angle.
my manager told me that the white tissue paper feathers have turned a nice urine color after all these years.

Rot said...

'angle' = angel

STOLLOWEEN said...

man I was going to ask the same thing...I wanted to see a picture of the angel..in fact I was willing to pay to see a picture of the angel that was scaring the neighborhood kids...

please keep posting things like this...it's the only thing that is going to get me through the "holidays"...have a great Thanksgiving and thank you again for this blog

Bones said...

Man, I'd have loved to see a picture of it. Still, the story is priceless. That's totally how it would go for me too.

I help decorate for Halloween in our office a little (not Christmas), but my co-workers are usually disappointed that all I set up is a small amount of lights and the like. I have to explain that it's all I own that's "cute".

The Frog Queen said...

LOL! Sounds fantastic!

One year I was in charge of the holiday decorations at my work, until, well, I brought in a mud monk with bony hands and made and Ebenezer Scrooge tombstone and had him pointing at it. I thought it was clever. Silly me.

"Not festive" was probably the nicest thing that someone said.

They currently decorate doors too. And they look about as good as that one.