Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Michael Myers Vs The Crow

On a Halloween night, many years ago, my sister did as she always did on that special night - she invited her loud friends as though I was throwing a Halloween party, as though she got an invitation from me that said "tell all your friends!" So they showed up throughout the night as they always do. To clog the pathway to the porch so small children would have to push through or walk around them. One of my sister's friends came in costume, as Eric Draven from The Crow. Or, rather, his interpretation of it. He was somewhat short and not exactly thin like Brandon Lee, but he did his best. He had the face paint on and wore black and wrapped his entire mid-section with black electrical tape. Tons of it. I'd say he used up ten rolls of the shiny soft tape.

So there I am, dressed as Michael Myers and I'm thinking at least one of her friends got into the spirit of Halloween... then he slowly walked up and squatted behind the large tree on my parents' lawn. I didn't have time to even process what was going on when he jumped out at the next small child that came up for candy. He made a "BLUUAHHHH!!!!!!" sound and got in the poor kid's face.

I think I was going into shock. As a haunter that savors atmosphere and non-jumpy scares, I now had a co-haunter literally jumping at trick-or-treaters like a trapdoor spider dressed as an interpretation of The Crow. And I could tell he was loving it, and I'm sure he thought he was doing me a favor. But I couldn't take it any more. And I'm not really proud of it.

Michael Myers slowly rose and approached The Crow. He placed one hand on his shoulder and a quiet voice came out of his emotionless latex face, "Look...I'm really REALLY sorry, man...and I appreciate your help, I really do, but Michael Myers is kinda like a one-man show...you know what I mean?" The guy looked totally devastated. Crushed. He said "ok" and slowly turned to walk away. And there was my father coming up the walk. He looked at all that electrical tape and yelled "What the Hell are YOU supposed to be? A short-circuit?!"


Myers: Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

11 comments:

Jay's Shadow said...

I would of hit him with a 2 by 4

ShellHawk said...

Love your dad.

And Michael could have ended it all with a kitchen knife, so all in all, I think he got off easy.

Vintage Seance said...

HAHA! That is hilarious! The crow was defeated, lol.

Mantan Calaveras said...

Understated ominousness is always more effective than outright menace.

I can recall scaring kids two or three grades ahead of me, just by standing on the pavement under the tree in front of our house, in a cloak and under a vinyl corpse mask.

Of course there was a fair share of maniacally chasing people down the street with a rusty machete, but usually not on Halloween.

Sara said...

LOL. That was cool. Poor Crow.

Acorn said...

Hahaha - that line by your Dad is awesome! It's like the final kick in the junk after trying so hard and failing. Dad's are great!

JHMDF said...

Great story! I personally do not want people popping out in my haunt, screaming at TOT's. I would like to add more props that jump out... but only a few. I do not want kids to take off running... I want them to look around and enjoy.

Jack Oh' Lantern said...

HOLY CARP!....Short circuit!...that cracks me up!!!..LOLOLOLOLOL

JD said...

Should have fed him to roots :D

Sara said...

I'm commenting again on this post because it is so funny it made me cry! Lol.

Love sifting through old posts. Time flies.....

Rot said...

That's a riot.

Glad you liked it.

My dad has been this constant sarcastic and mean soul for as far back as I can remember.