Friday, October 10, 2014

Michael Audrey Myers

Was thinking about my early days of Haunting.  Of when I'd dress as Michael Myers to hand out candy, back when I was doing the Haunt at my folks' house.  A lot of the kids would be at that age where, when hanging with a pack of their peers, they would taunt Michael Audrey Myers hoping to elicit a response and prove their bravery in the face of the spookiest horror film villain around.  It was like watching a porcupine wander into a group of young chimps (I was the porcupine).  Lots of running up, shouting stuff, and then running back to the sidewalk...  lots of "I ain't scared of you!" and "Come on, Myers!  COME ON!" and tons of extended hands to shake.  Which I found odd.  "Come on, Michael!  Shake my hand!" (I wish I stabbed one of them silently with a scalpel like Myers did to Loomis in Halloween II).

Now I never broke form.  I owed that to the legend of Michael Myers.  And I think all parties involved would be disappointed if I had reacted in any way, aside from the classic head tilt, which would, without fail, evoke tons of screams with kids running back down to the sidewalk.

One time, a pack of kids must have been waiting for a minivan to pick them they were lingering...and taunting.  I saw their ride pull up and an annoyed parent call them over to get in.  Not sure why I did it, but I walked slowly towards the minivan as they all had their backs to me.  The door slid shut just as I got there.  The loudest of the kids turned and saw me standing against the glass window.  The screams were real as he wailed and wriggled in that mass of kids trying to get to the other side of the van.  The father was laughing as was everyone else now...including that kid.  And Myers was too, but you couldn't tell of course...because of the Mask.

At the end of one of the last Halloweens at my parents' house, a loud mouth kid came up and got candy, then turned and shouted "MICHAEL MYERS, YOU F*GGOT!!!"  and ran away.

I heard my brother from the darkness say "Well, they say children are very perceptive."


Willow Cove said...

Shocking and hilarious.
You, sir, are a patient man. Sounds like my neighborhood. Maybe I will hold a hidden air-horn this year.

Rot said...

Being a Haunter in a heavily-populated suburb with earthy folks takes its toll on a man.

Sara said...

LOL. Too fun!

Anonymous said...

:D And I'm sure you envisioned yourself sticking that scalpel into your brother's gut. Hilarious.

Me, unfortunately, I only get maybe 6 to 8 kids. But I do get a chance to scare at least one of them.

Rot said...

So many kids back in those days.
I actually enjoy the reduced amounts at the new location.
I'll try to count this year, but I bet we don't even get fifty kids.

Rot said...

Probably more like 25.

Anonymous said...

My one ex-girlfriend told me her grandmother's house would get around 800 trick or treaters. I was like "NO WAY".

Well, lets just say after that night, I was horse and a tried sweaty mess. It was probably the first time I was ready to get out of my costume.

It was an awesome night.

NoahFentz said...

I always have that one kid that keeps saying, " this isn't scary"

to which I ask, "Is the OTHER haunted House scary?"

The kid asks, "What OTHER Haunted House?"

I reply, "Exactly.... Happy Halloween"

bean said...

Love these stories. :)

Ryan said...

Yep, happened when I did Part 3 Jason too. They'll always taunt you with the backwards walk but once you start coming after them with that actual real machete, you've lost sight of them they ran so far.

Damian Michael AKA HalloweeNut said...

Kids suck, it's true. It's why I plan on never propagating the species. I think Rob Zombie said it best: "They're fun for about 10 minutes, and then you have to give them back." Some not even that, as illustrated by this story. At least you got a few laughs along the way.

Damian Michael AKA HalloweeNut said...

Also, I thought you still dressed as the Shape? It's kinda weird hearing you don't anymore; like finding out there is no Santa Claus, only more emotionally traumatizing :) Do you dress up as anything else these days?

Amy said...

Love when you tell these stories Rot! I could read 100 pages of that stuff :)

Rot said...

Yeah..i haven't done the Myers thing since 2008. The Corn Witch changed everything : )

Sara said... mean you just hand out candy from your front door after kids have just walked through your haunted yard? And not even full size candy? Who ARE you?! ;)

You have some 'splaining to do buddy.

Rot said...

It made more sense at my parents' house! : D
Like sitting in the darkness on the porch was part of the show...the layout of the sidewalk and the porch just seemed to call for a live actor. And all those tons of kids.
On THIS porch, there's more of an atmosphere thing going on.

I have no answer for the full size fiasco!


Sara said...

That all makes perfect sense.

*side eye* except the last bit. LOL. Granted, candy is expensive, yo.

girl6 said...

there's gotta be a Loomis mask.
i would love to see MM gettin down with Loomis at a party!!

Arcane said...

I'm glad you stayed in character and I LOVE your impromptu stalk of the kids as they got in the van. "You know it's Halloween. I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare." :)