So every year there's a door decorating contest for the Christmas season at my office. The first year I worked here, my coworkers somehow convinced me to partake. They had heard from someone that I liked to make things for Halloween out of papier mache so they came up with an idea to have an angel on our department's door with some other silly non-Halloween stuff. I tried to tell them that I don't do Christmas. That I couldn't promise a good end-result since I'm sure it would have been flavored with darkness and not the happy angel that they were picturing in their heads. But I agreed to do it, probably because I didn't know them as well as I know them now and I thought it would have somehow affected my career path here. I made their stupid angel. Mache face....glue-dipped white fabric...a barely visible face beneath the angelic cloak. Feathers on two giant wings made from white tissue paper. I still remember the silence when I unveiled it. Confusion. Forced appreciation. I remember saying "I TOLD you all, dammit."
Regardless, we took first place that year, which was cool. The angel was taken home by my manager who reported that her son hung it in his room. Last year a coworker asked my manager if she could use it as a Christmas decoration on her porch. My manager stole it from her son and gave it to her. My coworker hung it on her screened-in porch with a light shining down on it. In her words "A neighbor told me it was scaring her kids."
The angel is back with my manager's son.
This year they approached me and asked me to do a Nightmare Before Christmas door for the contest.
I said no.
Sincerely,
The Office Jerk
(pretty much what every door ends up looking like.)
