Thursday, December 5, 2013

Behold The Riches Of Smaug's Lair

Advice:  Never assume your coworkers have seen a commercial just because you've seen the commercial a thousand times. 

I like those Lord of the Rings movies about as much as I like Bette Midler.  Well, the first one wasn't that bad, but the second two went and ruined it.  And these new Hobbit movies have me very confused.  I'm too annoyed to google if these last two have anything to do with the book(s), though having never read the book(s), I'm not sure if googling would make anything more clear for me.  I'd probably just get more annoyed.  They seem horrible from the trailers.  Loaded with cartoonish computer animation and packed with cartoonish action.  And their names are strange - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Hobbit:  The Desolation of Smaug.  I'm assuming that anyone who goes to the theater to see these things just says "One ticket for The Hobbit."

Then there's the Denny's restaurant thing.  I've seen a ton of commercials for the Hobbit Menu at Denny's.  And it looks dreadful, and sloppy.  Like if it looks sloppy in the commercial, imagine how it looks in an actual Denny's.

So I assume the world has seen these commercials (and feels the same way about them as I do) and I make a point to walk up to my coworkers and say "Hey, I've been meaning to ask's that Hobbit menu at Denny's?  Is it any good?"  And I expect much laughing and high-fiving, but without fail, my well-tuned joke is met with confusion and the same question: "What are you talking about?"

So then one of my coworkers yells over "Must be the channels YOU'RE watching!" and someone else yells "I bet he's watching the SyFy Channel!"

And there was much laughing and high-fiving.

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Anonymous said...

Maybe if you concentrate hard enough, you can stare at them and they will catch on fire. Kind of like a "Carrie" thing.

Frankenrock said...

Hobbit Denny's food sounds like instant diarrhea..

The Sonic commercials with those two stupid fucking pieces of shit make me furious.

Ragged Grin said...

All I need are names and general descriptions.... they won't feel a thing.

Damian Michael AKA HalloweeNut said...

I actually like the Lord of the Rings. A nice blend of CGI and excellent practical fx and makeup. But I agree - the Hobbit movies are dreadful. Besides, how the hell does ones take a single, not very long book, and turn it into three two hour movies. Ridiculous.

Sara said...

A total LOL post. Hilarious. That menu maes me want to vomit. Even when I weighed close to 300lbs, you wouldn't have caught me DEAD eating crap like that. LOL.

Also, did you ever see the Dr. Seuss menu?Although that one was at Ihop a few years back. UGH. *GAAAAG*

Rot said...

: )

I don't remember that one. Sounds gross already. Please tell me they had green eggs and ham. Cause I would have made an exception to my hate and gone there for that.

And I have some nerve insulting these places...i've eaten at many a gross restaurant over the years.

Sara said...

Oh, I'm no foodie for sure, but I do wonder who orders AND enjoys these dishes. LOL.
They *totally* had green eggs and ham. :)

Sara said...

These people do I guess, lol:

the eggs look better than this:

hope the links work.

Rot said...


girl6 said...

i LOVE Smaug!.
well, i have a thing for dragons that live in caves, horde treasure, & are voiced by Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch). : D

i don't know this commerical tho.
hmmmmm..i will have to watch it.
i haven't been to a Denny's either, they don't exist downtown.

hahahahahhaha!! Hallowaltz....Hobbirrhea
i'll check out some Sonic commercials too while i'm checking out the Denny's one.

awwwwwww Rot..hahhahaaa!!
those evil co.workers got ya & turned it All around.
don't ya just Hate that!.
hahahahhahaha!!..Tooooo Funny!

Rot said...

ha..yeah..turned it all around on me.

And I should add...the high-fiving was an embellishment of course. For, you see, high-fiving should be considered a capital offense.

girl6 said...

aaaHAHAHA!!.,oh Rot!. : D

sayyyy, let's cut off the hands of any "high fivers" & them Hide em (the hands that is).

that'll teach em. <33333

Anonymous said...

High Five'ing died with the yuppie crowed.

tim said...

You are the wind beneath my wings....true story.

Ragged Grin said...

Did they high five in American Psycho? I can't recall. If so they deserve to be in plastic, in the closet.

K.O. said...

HAHAHA!! Hilarious story. And I agree wholeheartedly, about LotR, the Hobbit, AND *gags* Bette Midler.

Mr Black said...

Your coworkers should know better than to mock a man who makes monsters. I have a zombie bride that I took to my college and put her on the elevator, I got some good scares and a lot of laughs out of that.One of your corpses in a bathroom stall and some low lighting should do it. lol